a.i. results

Our long national nightmare is over.

America has gotten its act together and finally voted of the hot mess that is Amanda Overmeyer.

It truly is Holy Week.

you'd definitely think I'd be more pumped about the news...

So. 90210 possible spinoff on the CW. Got a whiff of the news last week on the vaca. Promising in a way, considering my obsession with the network's Gossip Girl. Yet. Feel similarly about it as I feel about the Sex and the City Movie. Destined for disappointment. I'm particularly bummed that the kids aren't turning out to be Maddie Sanders or Hanna Vasquez, somehow connected to the original crew.


Variety has gotten wind of some of the details. Daphne Silver? Meh.

I am lost. Badum-bum.

Tara made the excellent suggestion of compiling a list of questions instead of recapping Lost. Questions that I don't know the answer to. Questions that I don't even know I'm supposed to ask myself. The most important question: why is Lost such a mind-fuck?

1. Is Jin dead or alive?

2. Michael, WTF? And where is Walt?

3. Does Hurley's off-island craziness have anything to do with the craziness Desmond experienced on the boat?

4. Are the Oceanic 6 all on the same time plane when they return to the "real world"? Could they be living at different times? Can they not all be there for Sun at the same time because they don't exist at the same time?

5. Is Aaron one of the Oceanic 6? Does Kate know that Aaron is not her child - i.e. did she steal him maliciously or has she been brainwashed to think that Aaron is hers?

6. HELLO, THE NUMBERS??

7. What is the connection between Oceanic Airlines and the Widmores?

8. What are the true motives of the captain and TPTB on the boat?

OK that is enough for now. If anyone has anything to add, or, miraculously, some GD answers, drop a comment please.

a.i.

Seriously, I think I've done a huge 180 on American Idol. Well, a little at least.

First, I now like Carly. She's charming, and she brings it every week. This week Simon didn't like her version of Blackbird because ... he doesn't like birds or something like that. Seriously, they are trying to come up with any criticism of her possible. She did sound a little whiny after Simon started the negative, but she has the vocal chops to back it up. One of the main reasons I need her to win is because if she doesn't, I know fetus-bred Idol shoo-in David Archuleta will.

Next, I think I've changed my mind about David Cook. I mean, while I don't love his style of music, dude can really wail. If a little cocky.

Third, Brooke the Nanny is wicked cute but girl's dancing is MESSED. UP. Like, deal-breaker bad. And her facial expressions are slightly stroke victim-y? Is it just me? I can't watch.

Fourth, I'm over Ramiele. Though she was better tonight than she's been for the past few weeks, it wasn't enough to keep me. She's too needy.

have you guys been watching survivor?

Dude, I am DEPRESSED about the loss of Jonathan, a.k.a. Penner. RIP, dude. I had him slated to win.

the bachelor, season 46.

Is it surprising to any remotely intelligent human being that this season's bachelor is way sexy, while the girls are butt ugly? I mean, seriously, cutest bachelor ever - a Brit with a sense of humor, no less! - and most beat group of girls ever. It was a pack of cougars and cougars-to-be if I've ever seen one - and on the bachelor, cougar age begins at 27. It makes sense, if you think about it. It's common knowledge that if guys pay the small price of their souls, they can fondle at least 30 fake breasts on national television by being the bachelor. The breasts that are willing to put themselves forward on the altar of national humiliation is getting smaller.

Here is our bachelor.



Btw, he's like 6'3" - Tara's dream man!

Here is a choice example of one of his harem.



Robin. Age 22. Prime marriage age. Definitely destined for psycho-dom.

What's the over-under that he picks an under-23 year old "soulmate?" I'm taking bets.

ooh, we forgot

we're away this week. but we did just watch the bachelor, where are they now. it was great.

Project Runway, NOT the finale.

Man, I cannot wait for tomorrow night's finale. That is, if Project Runway decides to have a finale, rather than dragging things out for me for like 5 months.

May I also say, I really liked - maybe even loved - Chris March's collection. I mean, I knew from the beginning that Rami was destined for Bryant Park, but let's be honest. No one has grown as much as Chris March. No pun intended. His top three ensembles were surprising, unique, and made a statement. I even bizarrely liked his use of human hair!?



He is so the definition of making it work. So I'm sad.

Who are you rooting for? I'm so all about Jillian, but will accept a victory by La Fierce.

ai results

The only important thing you need to know about this bootage is that two boring ass guys who you won't remember got kicked off, and a talented girl was sacrificed for the 15 car pileup that is Amanda Obermeyer. Also one of the the blondes had a nervous breakdown when she got axed, while the other goes through a series of bizarre facial expressions not seen since Clifford.

A.I. gals...forgettable

Carlie: She's the one they want to win, supposedly, besides the Carrie-clones. Her surprise is that she's a boring homebody. Her voice sounds great on Heart, but, I don't know, I'm bored. She is like the definition of boring.








Sayesha has been in commercials, and she does a damn scary baby-cry imitation. Another yawn-worthy song. "Mr. Jones." The show is making me narcoleptic.





Brooke the nanny is also a freaking Beauty School Dropout. We get to watch her cut some random dude's hair in the bathroom, whippitie woo. What is with the being-able-to-use-instruments thing this year? Brooke doesn't even play the guitar half the time, which is jarring. That said, I think Brooke picked the right song, she just clearly doesn't have remotely the vocal chops that the best women singers have. So, there it is. Cute, but untalented.




Ramiele, my cute little favorite, is a hula dancer. And she's Filipino! OMG, seriously, so are my unborn/unconceived babies! Now you know know I love Ramiele, so that said, meh. Not my fave performance.




Kristy Lee aka Carrie-ette #1 is up next, ready to surprise us: she's a tomboy, that's her surprise. I'm surprised that she's 24 - she looks about 13. Her outfit is straight up frightening. First of all, it's all shiny. Second of all, it's what I used to wear out when I was in college in my black pants silver top phase. Thirdly, it accentuates the Elaine-like nature of her dancing. All that aside, her song is another yawn, a total, energy-less, Carrie Underwood imitation. The judges think it was better than last week. I say, um, that's not difficult.




Dear Lord, next up is Amanda Obermeyer. I find this person totally frightening. She is also a bookworm. She's one of those "knowledge is powerful" people, and realizes you can always be more educated. She educates herself by reading biographies of rock stars. She says this all totally earnestly. She butchers an amazing song with both her singing and her absolutely freakish dancing. It's like watching drunk, mid-western karaoke, but worse. Honestly, the judges were wildly kind.


Alaina Whitaker up next, officially making this the Carrie-fest it is. The most interesting thing about this clone is that she doesn't like her foods to touch. What a cultural icon. Alaina is trying out for her high school musical with Hopelessly Devoted to You. As a nice touch she wore her prom dress. It was a high school quality performance.






Cut little Alexandréa is up. Her big surprise is that she's basically already a star and sang at Ground Zero. More Disney-fication. I absolutely love the song she chose: Peter Cetera, Baby Please Don't Go. It was staid, and the outfit was a little weird, but she has a very nice voice. Randy is right (God help me): she picked a safe, boring choice. One thing I like about her: she always puts her own original stamp on a song.





Our third Carrie-ette, Kady, sings opera!? She is one of those annoying people that sings opera in the shower and wakes everyone up. Now, I think Kady has the most presence out of all the Underwood-ettes, and I really like her dress. Bad song, though. Don't sing Heart when someone else with an amazing voice (cough, the first girl), sings Heart.






Asia'h is a cheerleader, and she's kind of a hottie! But girl must be kind of sick or something, because she was just meh this week. There's too big a contrast between her chest voice and her head voice. She's in trouble, and you can see the fear in her eyes.

The long and short is, none of them are great. I have totally forgotten the episode, except for Amanda Obermeyer's performance, which will live in my deepest, most frightening subconscious forever.

survivor

It's hard to blog on Survivor this early on. My broad observations now are these:

1. I don't totally get why the Favorites are pairing up. Isn't that Cardinal Rule #1?

2. Pulling wild moves early on are stupid. The fans don't strike me as remotely skilled in Survivor strategy.

3. I understand that a lot of aspiring actresses have breasts that are, you know, not of nature, but is it like a requirement to have a fake boob quota on this show?

4. Eliza frightens me. Is horny. May want Ozzie.

Amanda is beautiful.

James is again getting played but in a totally different way.